No More Secrets
by rukia4ichigo
Summary: During their 13-year marriage, Rukia had never got the chance to tell Ichigo about what happened with Kaien Shiba. After they came home from Hueco Mundo, memories of her mentor had come back, and she felt that now's the time to tell her husband the dark truth of her past. Spin-off to Inherited Nightmares. IchiRuki


****A subscriber of my YouTube channel commented on Incomplete Sorrows #5, asking when Rukia will ever tell Ichigo about Kaien. Well, I had been thinking about this story overnight, and I decided to write it. It takes place between Inherited Nightmares and Condemned Time, so you could say that it's another spin-off to Inherited Nightmares. Let me know what you think!

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**No More Secrets**

Rukia hugged her legs together as she stared into space. She and Ichigo had just finished another day at the Fifth Division Office, and they were just about ready to call it a night.

Ever since they came home from Hueco Mundo, Rukia had been unable to shake off this horrible feeling of guilt and regret that had just resurfaced after decades of keeping it inside. Maybe it was because of her second fight with Aaronierro that caused it to resurface, but she knew that she was still very guilty for what she had done to Kaien Shiba.

Even though she and Ichigo had been married, she had never told him about her mentor yet either. What would happen if she did anyway? Would it break her marriage apart? After all, they had been married for 13 years and counting. She can't believe that she had been together with her husband for so long and have not told him about her dark secret. Husbands and wives should tell each other everything, even their darkest secrets. _Tonight is going to be the night_, she told herself. As soon as Ichigo walks into the room, she is going to tell him everything, and then see how it goes from here.

Ichigo walked into their room, the dim light hitting his near-perfectly toned chest and a short-sleeved shirt draped over his left shoulder. Rukia could only stare at her husband's physique for a moment with a small, yet sad smile.

Ichigo smirked at his wife's stare. "You can't help but feel attracted to me, can you?" He quipped with a chuckle.

Rukia blushed a bit. "I guess you're right, Ichigo." Then she frowned. "Before we go to bed, there's something I need to get off my chest."

A look of concern showed on Ichigo's face as he put on his t-shirt and climbed into bed next to his wife. "What is it, babe?"

Rukia stared at a spot on her bed, thinking of how to word this correctly. "We've been married for what…13 years now, right?"

Ichigo nodded, unsure of where his wife was going with this. "Yeah, so what's up?"

Rukia sighed and swallowed a large lump in her throat. "We are supposed to tell each other everything because honesty is what binds us together. Well, there's a confession that has been kept inside for years now. A confession which…I don't think you would want to hear."

Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows. What was she going on about? Was there someone else?

Rukia continued to speak. "Decades ago, when I was just starting my position in the 13th Division, I had a mentor named Kaien Shiba. He was the lieutenant of that division then and he was a great leader. I loved him so much; you could say that he was sort of my first crush." She laughed silently at the word, then she frowned again. "But a hollow was lurking somewhere in Soul Society, and the Reconnaissance Squad led by his wife, Miyako, never returned. We set out to find them and found the horrific sight of the squad members dead. Later, we found Miyako's clothes lying in tatters on the ground. This hollow, we had found out, had taken control of her and then devoured her from the inside."

"So what happened to this Kaien fellow?" Ichigo wanted to know, prepared to comfort his wife at all costs.

"We followed the hollow's trail until we discovered the hollow itself." Rukia scrunched her nose in disgust. "It was so ugly and disgusting! Tentacles everywhere! So repulsive! Kaien-dono decided to fight this…thing. At first I was against the idea because of what might happen to him, but Ukitake-Taichou told me to stay back and let Kaien-dono fight it, saying that it will hurt his honour if I step in. So I watched from the sidelines as Kaien-dono fought with everything he had, and just when he was going to release his zampakutou, the hollow dissolved it. Then the most horrific thing happened that I would _never_ forget. The hollow…left its body and fused with Kaien-dono's soul." She hugged her knees tighter and her body shook. Ichigo wrapped an arm around her to stop her from shaking. "Kaien-dono was changed," she continued, tears brimming her eyes. "He was a monster, and he started to attack me. Ukitake-Taichou tried to fight him, but his disease started to act up at that moment, and he told me to run. I complied, panicking and wondering why this would happen. My intuition told me to turn back, however, and I had done so. Kaien-dono noticed me right away, so he started to attack me. Hesitatingly, I drew my zampakutou and, as soon as Kaien was near enough, I…st-stabbed it through his chest!"

She could not hold back the tears anymore, and tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried out her pain and agony. Ichigo pulled his wife against his chest and allowed her to cry against it, brushing her hair tenderly and saying comforting words to her. He could not hate her for what she had done. After all, she probably had saved the guy and did the best thing she could, but he did not think that Rukia would feel that way.

"I'm such a terrible person!" Rukia cried out. "A murderer even!"

Ichigo shook his head. "No, you're not, Rukia." Rukia nodded her head in contradiction. "No you're not, Rukia," he repeated.

"How could you be so sure?" Rukia yelled.

"You did what you had to do," Ichigo clarified, trying to calm his wife down. "Kaien would have wanted you to do what you did. It seemed that it was the only way to save his soul. You did the right thing, even though it cost his life. He wasn't himself. I know that you feel really distraught about this whole thing, but I'm here now and I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep you happy. There's a deep scar within you right now, and I'm determined to help you heal it, even if it takes years, even if it takes the rest of our lives. After all, you saved me from my pain. I love you, Rukia, and please, please try to be happy. Kaien would have wanted this as well. Be happy for him; don't blame yourself. He's in a better place now."

Rukia smiled as she wrapped her arms around her husband. What he said was true. After all, Kaien _did _thank her for saving her right afterwards. Now he's in a better place and his heart is with her. All what she needed to do was move on and strive to be happy. She has a better life now-a lieutenant of 5th Division, a wife to a wonderful man, a loving mother to two children who love her in return. The last thing she needed was for the past to bring her down.

Wiping her tears, she gazed into the eyes of the man she loved with all her heart. "Thank you, Ichigo," she whispered. "Sorry…I didn't tell you about this sooner."

Ichigo smiled and kissed his wife's forehead. "No problem, Rukia, it's what I do," he replied. "And I understand your reasons for not telling me sooner. You had to wait for the right moment. At least you're being honest with me, right?"

Rukia nodded and kissed her husband's lips tenderly. Ichigo returned the kiss and gave her a small back rub. Then he parted from her and brushed her cheek. "You going to be okay?" He asked.

Rukia nodded once again. "I love you, Ichigo. You mean everything to me."

"I love you too, Rukia. You mean just as much. Now let's go to bed, shall we?"

They got under the covers, and Rukia snuggled next to her husband's chest. She could feel his strong arms wrap around her, and this made her feel safe and warm inside. Ichigo could never replace Kaien in her heart, but he was something more-the man who saved her life.


End file.
